7/10
It would be
a great day of mom hadn’t called me at almost 7am just to tell my Uncle José
had had two heart attacks yesterday and the day before. If it hadn’t been so
damned cold for the clothes I’d decided to wear today… If somebody at classes had
been just a little bit friendlier… if I hadn’t lost my ‘Sodexo’ card, if I
hadn’t left my wallet at home…
The second
time I came home today I just walked… I didn’t have any money so… and everytime
I do so, every time I walk along that route, I tend to feel like shit for some
reason. Anxiety, sadness, desperation, despair… May be I won’t go to the TIC
lesson again…
I’m just
tired of this domestic shitty issues going over me. I’m done with my mind that
always finds it funnier to forget the important things to do… Where the fuck is
my mind, I’d like to know.
And I’ve
tried… I’m so concerned about it. But it is never enough, isn’t it? Maybe some
vudú is working very well on me… or maybe it’s just me who is getting pretty
mad without any help. In any case I’m done. Right now I’d like to have enough
courage to take my entire hopes & expectations, put them in a box and throw
them to nowhere. Or just do the same with myself.
However all
of this would have been worst with someone within me. But here’s my holly period
again. At least nobody else will suffer because of an inconsistent shitty
mother.
Maybe those
things I’ve fought for have never been for me.
Maybe it’s
time to quit again.
No hay comentarios:
Publicar un comentario