2014: a bunch of unexpected stuff

It's sounds as a cliché but it really looks weird... to figure out this year is almost gone. And I'm not excited about it... it seems a normal day, with more fireworks, fake hugs and suff... I'm not excited. Thats it.

Perhaps some of you are tired of reflexions towards new years eve. I'm very used to do it so this is not an exception. Just because I'm tired and demotivated I'll do it quite briefly.

2014 was slightly better than the previous one. No deaths, no heartbreakings (not as painful as before)... but it put me out of my nerves anyway...

At least I feel in love again, without being left down... yet. I tried not to lose my mind for this. And I didn't. until these last months.

Another worries have grown in my mind, right. Stuff I cannot stop thinking about, everyday. Things regarding money went hard. More bills... a little bit of starvation, dirty/old clothes... flues...

Academically, it was such a challenge to continue studying withut failing any course. The selfawareness was killing me... at the point I hardly kept controlling my own body. So many stuff in my head! So important goals to achieve, risks to take... And there were no chance to fail. No damned time for that. In the end I passed my courses victoriously. So that I've been rewarded with an opportunity of studying abroad. The application process has been well. I just must stay unbeaten.

So as a sum up... I think I took risks, I passed through lots of difficulties, but I succeded in many terms... it's just that now I feel more damaged, fragil... I hope this summer would give me the deserved peace and rest my body and mind are asking for.

2015... I'm facing you as it is supposed to happen. I'll do my best to get back my strength. If I have to believe, I will, If I have to give my self completely I'll do so. I've got nothing much to lose, since I already know how the ground taste like.

Cause this life is senseless if one doesn't fight, love, and do everything to see the top of our mountain.

Me abro al cierre, otra vez.

Talk to me and I'll tell you who you are

Nowadays it is hard for me not to notice details... too many details.

Details within context are not just details. All of them have a function, a purpose,

It is true... Language never reach our intentions. Sometimes we really need to say something... but our communicative strategies fail and our speech is something quite different, but... is it the case, anyway?

Intention < Language < Interpretation

Yes, it is true. Language never reach our intentions... and our interpretations of language might never be completely attached to the speaker's intention... but for that reason there is just so many research on it. Language is still an expression of reality, and an approach to it. Language is part of our identity. What we say (and how we say it), defenitely matters.

So after this brief explanation... let me state that I haven't been exagerated.

How long is an utterance...?
How many non-verbal resourses are in use? ...
How many times was an utterance re-written?
How frequent are a few words or ideas, and why?
How much rethoric is in use?
Which is your intention?
Why would you bother in saying too much unrelevant info.?
How many times you didn't pay attention to what I said?
What goes beyond this speech act?
What about your context?
Do those sentimental expressions mean the same than at the begining?

... And so many aspects are still left, and that means its challenge. Now it is part of me to  think about words everytime I'm in front of them.

So if I were you, I would never dare to cheat.

Up to now...

Okay, so many things to tell...

Firstly, sorry 'bout desappearing during this weeks... I've just finished this semester and It's feel too great to be true... I've been still bussy, making a few arrangements for the following year, which seems to be VERY different and challenging.

Let's start from the very basic aspects.

Well, right know I'm at my aunt Violeta's home, where I'm supposed to be back on March. Yes... I'm not living alone anymore... not at least these last years of University... After a few months of getting on again she asked me to do so... since for here this house has become quite lonely... And of course for me it is a great new... I really feel comfortable here, you know. We've already clarify a few misundertoods and there's nothing to be worried about. This time I compromised to pay some bills (internet) and you know what... I was getting tired of being by myself... too many responsibilities... specially know that I think I'll need more than one hand.

Why?

Well... let's just say that I'm actually going abroad. Not to UK (too much money required), but I'll defenitely apply for staying one semester in USA. I'm quite keen to go to Alverno College, in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. It's an institution for only girls and they seem to be quite friendly. Teachers are used to assess constantly their students and they give a lot of feedback... I think I'll be okay there... since the very first thought I'd have there might be to never fail and I'll need their support. It's a shame not to go abroad with my two best friends but hey... I'm still young and nobody knows what comes next... So yes... I'm happy anyway. It's gonna be such an experience and I wanna get ready and just go for it. The trip is on September... So basically I'll have three falls & winters, a third lonely birthday, but a freaking lovely christmas and new year's eve ;)

(Lake Michigan)

(The Juneau Avenue bridge, Milwaukee)

(North Point Lighthouse; Lake Park. Milwaukee, Wisconsin)

There are still a few things to do here, so that's why I'm not at home yet... these days I'll be bussy moving my stuff from my guesthouse, paying my last university bills... and it'll be necesary to arrange the following TOEFL exam that we'll have to give on January... anyway. Many things to do yet... But I'll try to be at home next week. Tomas is looking forward to go there, and may be spend Christmass with me. What a sweet boy (?). Hope he could do so... and by the way... I'll need to remain everyone that for now on there would be no better gift than money. The most important thing I'll be going through these months is to figure out how to gather $700.000 :/ Still a lot.

I lost the path... whatever, that's pretty much what's going on. See you around later.

This is not an application letter

Once upon a time, a father said no matter how clever his little girl would be; she would never ever be in a higher stage.

...

Once upon a time there was a girl who grew and grew... pretty and clever she became, until one day she knocked a University door, and it opened. She went there half alone, half poor, half hopeful, half scared, while her mother and brother tried harder to help her as much as they could. She didn't expected too much... but did her best to correspond their effort.

Once upon a time there was a girl who forgot about going abroad, as she dessired to do when younger. But one day she got selected... UK they said, right? is it possible that...? she didn't know... the only thing she grab on her head was that so much money she got to have for doing so. 2.000.000! "and where is the benefit?" she thought. She realized that's the only thing that matters in the end. No matter how clever she were. She would never ever go to UK...

Somehow her daddy was right. Somehow he had always been right. And she new it. And now she had to decide. "Told you so... my little girl", he would say... somewhere.

So this is not an application letter, and I'm sorry if this is disappointing. So much talent... wasted talent, you see...

Cause money is the only thing that really matters.